


Maybe Soulmates Aren't for Everyone

by The_Trashiest_Bisexual



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: But Koaru does like Hikaru, F/M, Fuck yeah Hikaru/Kaoru, Hikaru/Kaoru - Freeform, Hikaru/Kaoru relationship is more hinted at, Honestly it's up to interpretation, I hope, Incest, It's not even subtle it's just hella gay, It's still hella cute and hella gay, M/M, No real relationships are stated, Okay so the second part is really gay, Twincest, Y'all been warned tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:37:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Trashiest_Bisexual/pseuds/The_Trashiest_Bisexual
Summary: Soulmate AU.Everyone is born with a clock on their wrist that counts down to the second all the time they have left until they'll meet their soulmate, and once it hits zero, the timer is replaced with their soulmate's name. However, the heartbreaking truth is that sometimes the name on your wrist isn't the correct name - either that, or the world is a very cruel place.Unfortunately, the Hitachiin twins have to learn this the hard way.(I saw a Tumblr post where someone listed a bunch of flaws with the timer system and it inspired me to write this).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why on Earth did I write this when I still have other stories to work on?
> 
> VCE is not easy, man. I regret my life choices.
> 
> Anyway, here's some story I wrote about the twins. Sorry if they seem outta character at all, I just kind of thought of this idea and went with it.

He'd known for a long time that this was how things would be. He was just surprised that Hikaru hadn't figured it out.

Soulmates. Everyone had one; a counter on their wrist that timed down to the very second how long was left before they would meet their other half for the first time. The moment that little timer hit zero, they'd meet their soulmate, and the no-longer-ticking numbers became a name. The names were always beautifully written - each neatly printed letter designed in a way that's perfectly fitting to the person.

Hikaru's timer was meant to stop later that day.

When he'd checked the thing - the first time in years, if he was honest - it had been the week before. He had just exited the shower and had glanced down at his wrist to see just over eight days left on his clock.

Eight days.

_Eight. Days._

Eight days until he would meet his soulmate.

Eight days until his life would change forever.

.

.

.

Eight days until someone else was supposed to enter his life - someone who wasn't Kaoru.

When Hikaru had told him, it had been the first time in his life that he couldn't see past Kaoru's dishonest smile.

He couldn't see the almost perfectly concealed quiver of his twin's lip, or the shine of unshed tears that glimmered past his eyes. Hikaru didn't see the hollowness of his smile, or the stiffness in his jaw and shoulders. Hikaru saw none of it, because Kaoru wouldn't let him, and somehow those almost insignificant mannerisms that'd always give away his distress didn't show through.

"My timer ends in eight days."

Six simple words that changed Kaoru's life more than a stupid countdown ever could. He hadn't even thought about it. In fact, he'd completely forgotten the whole "soulmate" deal that so many people cared about. After all, some people never even met their soulmate.

Some people never ended up with the right person.

Some people fell in love with someone different.

Some people met their soulmate, but their soulmate's clock was still ticking.

Some people never even had a soulmate.

It was a bleak truth; a daunting fact about the very thing that almost everyone on Earth was born with. Kaoru claimed to be one of the few who simply didn't have a timer; revealing a blank wrist whenever someone asked. Hikaru was the one with the timer.

That hadn't affected their relationship though. Growing up, they'd only relied on each other. Hikaru had decided that if Kaoru didn't have a soulmate, then he shouldn't have one either because it wasn't right to leave his twin alone like that. It wasn't right to abandon the only person in the world who had ever understood him as deeply as he understood himself - maybe even more so. To Hikaru, doing such a thing made no sense at all.

Kaoru had believed him. Or at least, he pretended to. He went along with the acts in the host club - a place where count downs didn't matter, because waiting for that special someone was not what rich people did. Rich people had fun. They used their money to entertain themselves with beautiful people, and Kaoru and Hikaru had been dragged into this world. During the time they spent there, Kaoru would forget all about his defect, and Hikaru would forget about how much time he had left (not that he cared enough to check the counter anyway), and the two of them would pretend to be something they're not, all for the sake of an audience.

That was all about to change though. Their lives were destined to take different routes in a matter of hours, because Hikaru's timer would stop and Kaoru would be truly alone in the world.

He still managed a smile when Hikaru reassured him that he would never be alone, and maybe he even managed to believe those sweet words just a little bit.

The twins did what they did best, they acted. They acted as if Hikaru hadn't seen the numbers. They acted as if neither of them cared at all about what could possibly become of them after it hit zero. They acted as if they weren't wondering if someone could even miss such an event taking place. It was possible, it seemed. It had to be. There was no way to know such a thing without checking.

Those few hours ticked by until the clock hit zero - until a name was brilliantly written across Hikaru's wrist, a permanent reminder of the person who would forever hold his heart. Neither of the twins realised the timer had stopped. Neither of them realised that a named had taken its place. In fact, Hikaru didn't glance at the thing for quite a while longer. Seconds that turned to minutes. Minutes that turned to hours. Hours that turned to days. Days that turned to weeks. It had completely slipped their minds.

In their desperate plea to forget, they had rid their minds of the thought. In their determination to move forward, they had left behind the possibility for change. Little did they know that the day that timer had stopped, was the same day their life had changed without them knowing.

Even though Hikaru didn't know his soulmate, Kaoru still felt himself slowly losing his twin, because the day the timer had stopped, they had met Haruhi.

Kaoru had watched as she became a part of the host club and a part of their lives. He watched as Hikaru's eyes lingered on her, or he took up the chance to talk to her. He watched as they grew closer, not saying a word, and not letting on that it hurt him.

He'd always imagined that losing Hikaru would be painful. Heck, Hikaru was the one person he couldn't imagine a life without, and while he'd known for a long time that such a thing would eventually happen, he just wasn't ready for it. In fact, he was realising more and more that he never would be ready.

He ignored the pain.

He ignored the lump that formed in his throat the day he accused Hikaru of falling for Haruhi and he didn't deny it.

He ignored the tenseness he felt every time Hikaru chose her over him.

He ignored the ache in his heart that formed in the absence of his other half - his true other half. The one he'd been born with.

He also ignored the tears that threatened to fall the day that Hikaru finally remembered his timer had stopped.

One month, two weeks, four days, five hours, twenty-seven minutes and thirteen seconds later.

He'd looked down at his wrist to find a name instead of a clock.

His eyes had widened in shock as he'd stumbled back into his brother, causing the both of them to tumble to the floor. They'd just closed the door to their room after getting home.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru had snapped at his twin, who was practically sitting in his lap - too invested in his wrist to pay attention to anything else that could have been said.

"Kaoru... there's a name on my wrist."

Kaoru could barely breathe through the pain he felt when he heard that. "Who is it?" He asked in a mere gentle whisper, too scared to speak any louder. Too scared of what may break.

"It's Haruhi."

Somehow, those words were softer, but they were the only thing that Kaoru could have heard clearly in that moment.

Haruhi.

Haruhi Fujioka.

The girl that'd already changed their lives so much. It was her.

Right then, Kaoru knew that Hikaru had been lying to him all those years he promised to stay by his side.

He knew, but it still hurt, because some stupid part of him had tried to trust the brother he'd known his whole life. However, that was exactly the problem - he'd _known_ Hikaru since birth. He knew that this exact thing would happen. He knew, but he'd disregarded any and all logical thought about it. He'd wanted to be wrong.

He'd so desperately wanted to be wrong, but he was right.

He didn't say a word.

Hikaru spoke for him. Six words.

"This won't change a thing, Kaoru."

This time, Kaoru knew his twin was lying.

And Hikaru started acting even more distant.

He started trying to look at Haruhi's wrist to see if a name was printed there. He wanted to see his name there, Kaoru knew. Hikaru wanted to get to know the girl whose name was written on his skin. He wanted to know her more than he already did, Kaoru knew. He knew, because Hikaru barely tried to hide it.

Everything changed.

Hikaru was the same at home, for the most part. He was the same when he wasn't thinking about her, or talking about her, or talking to her. He started texting her more. He started competing with Tamaki for her affections.

Two months passed, and in that time Kaoru had given up on the thought of things ever being the same again.

The day he had realised what his own wrist meant all those years ago had been the day he'd learned to give up, and the day Hikaru had realised who his soulmate was, was the day he'd been reminded of that lesson.

That begged the question though, if Tamaki had a timer and a name of his own, then why was he pursuing Haruhi? It was different for the girls whom they entertained, because all of them still had plenty of time on their clocks and spent every day that they could at the host club - hoping against all logical reason that the day their timer hit zero, they would be with the host of their dreams. It was a silly thought, really, but they tried anyway.

The reason Tamaki was pursuing Haruhi was really quite simple though.

Two months, two days, nineteen hours, four minutes and thirty-eight seconds later. That was when Hikaru discovered the truth.

As it turned out, Haruhi's clock had also hit zero the day she met Hikaru, but his name wasn't printed on her wrist. It was Tamaki's.

The blonde in question, had Haruhi's name on his skin.

The second the truth was out, Kaoru had realised all-too-quick what was going on and rushed to Hikaru's side. He'd held his twin's hand in his own, and it had dawned on him in the bitterest way that he wasn't alone anymore, but he'd never wanted that.

He would have rather died alone than have Hikaru suffer the way he still did.

However, the fact remained that Tamaki and Haruhi were a match, and Hikaru, much like Kaoru, was one of the instances of someone who didn't quite have a soulmate.

Hikaru had never once revealed his wrist, and in that moment he decided he never wanted to and never would. There was no point anyway.

It was silent when they returned home. They barely exchanged a word the whole night, not even uttering a goodnight as they slid under the covers of their shared bed. No words were needed, and Kaoru didn't want to ask Hikaru any questions before he was ready to talk.

After a few minutes of laying in the dark, facing away from each other and both clearly wide awake, Hikaru spoke.

"I'm one of the unlucky ones, aren't I?" It was murmured gently into the cool night air - a silky warm breath woven from a daunting despair. He was defective.

Kaoru rolled over, snaking his arms around Hikaru's waist and pressing against his back. He buried his face in the nape of his twin's neck. "It's okay, so am I." He whispered back. His voice was a comforting warmth against flesh despite being devoid of any real emotion.

Hikaru grabbed one of Kaoru's hands in his own, interlacing their fingers and holding firmly even into sleep.

The morning rolled around in a sluggish and exhausting way. Bright sunlight flittered through the small gaps between thick drawn curtains, creating a warm atmosphere in the dim room. Hikaru opened his eyes to find himself staring at the blank ceiling, and for a few blissfully peaceful seconds, he'd forgotten all about the day before. In fact, he'd forgotten about every day preceding that morning, living those few moments after waking up where's it's just existence without memory. That moment before the brain fully wakes up and remembers every little detail. When that moment came, he wished for the first time in his life that he didn't remember, and he wondered if that's how Kaoru had always felt. He remembered Kaoru.

He looked to his side to find Kaoru still sleeping peacefully. He looked serene yet tired curled in on himself, his hands slightly outstretched as if he was reaching for something, or someone. Hikaru glanced at him with an unreadable expression, lost in his own mind. For a few moments he brushed his fingers through his twin's hair, playing with the soft strands in a casual sign of affection.

He thought about the name on his wrist - the name he hadn't even noticed for a whole month. How had that happened? How had he forgotten mere hours after remembering? Was he really that desperate to put it behind him for the sake of his twin? Maybe not.

He couldn't believe such a thing, not when he ended up changing the moment he met his soulmate anyway - even if he hadn't known that she was his soulmate in the first place. Maybe somewhere deep down he'd known, because he'd sure as hell hoped that she was the one, but now he wished that she wasn't. He always figured that he'd turn down whatever girl he met. He figured he'd tell her he was flattered that she was his supposed other half, but that he was already happy - he already had his other half in his twin. They weren't soulmates, but the bond they shared was more important than that and Hikaru was certain it would last for the rest of their lives.

He'd been wrong. He was sure of it.

But he refused to take the blame.

Wasn't he supposed to have relationships with other people? Wasn't it healthy for him to meet a nice girl and settle down with her? Was it so wrong to have feelings for Haruhi? For his soulmate? He didn't think so, and he was angry that things turned out the way that they did.

He was angry that Kaoru didn't have a name on his wrist. He was angry that his own soulmate had someone else's name. He was angry that he was destined to know who he lost, why he lost them and exactly who he lost them to. He was angry that these people were his close friends. He was angry that he didn't figure it out sooner. He was angry that there was no one to blame apart from a fucked up system.

It wasn't his fault.

It wasn't anyone else's fault, either.

The world was just plain cruel.

Hikaru felt the bed sheets move and looked beside him to see Kaoru stirring. The boy sat up, rubbing his eyes with the balm of his hands before sweeping his fingers through his hair. Hikaru wondered if Kaoru would be able to tell that he'd done the same thing only a few minutes ago. At least, he thought it was a few minutes ago. Reality had felt a little detached and distant since the pain of his existence had registered in his mind. It was making him numb to the real world.

"Good morning, Hikaru." Kaoru's voice was rough from sleep. He gave his brother a tired smile before resting his head on his shoulder. "I'm surprised you didn't wake me." He mumbled.

Hikaru found that Kaoru's hair tickled his neck, but he didn't mind too much. Instead he rested his cheek against light reddish-brown locks that mirrored his own. "We have a few more minutes." Hikaru responded quietly.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that - a silence that only existed because they were avoiding what needed to be said. It was nothing more than a distraction - a distraction from a conversation that Hikaru didn't want to have.

"Hikaru."

But it looked like that silence wouldn't last forever.

"Yes, Kaoru?"

Kaoru grabbed his twin's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. He rubbed his thumb soothingly against Hikaru's skin.

"It isn't so bad, what happened to you."

Eight words that shouldn't have been said, at least in Hikaru's opinion.

"How could you ever know something like that?" He asked quietly, but the whispered words weren't gentle. They weren't without conviction. They were bitter and laced with poison. They were sharp and accusing. They were as tense as his fingers, which seemed determined to crush the identical hand in their own.

"H-Hikaru-" His name was spoken softly, a chaotic combination of fear and worry present.

Hikaru payed no notice. The very thing he'd been avoiding had already been brought up. Those eight words had already been said and done, and there was no taking back the distastefulness he saw in that one, simple statement.

"Kaoru, you could never know what it's like to find out something like that." He let go of his twin's hand and shifted away, twisting to properly face his brother. "You wouldn't know, Kaoru." His golden eyes narrowed into a pointed glare. "I knew she was the one before I even checked my wrist, and after checking it - after seeing that I was right about what I felt-!" He didn't raise his voice, but his tone had increased in hurt frustration.

"Your name wasn't even on her wrist."

Kaoru finished the point for him, ignoring the agitated glare and ignoring the pain that was written all over an identical face - an identical face that he'd never once seen as his own.

Hikaru fixed his focus on the bed sheets, his hand balled as a fist at his side. "You just couldn't know, Kaoru."

Oh, but he did know.

He'd known that pain for years longer than Hikaru.

"Hikaru."

Hikaru didn't look at him.

"Look at my wrist."

Kaoru extended his arm to Hikaru, leaning forward just a little so that his twin would be able to see - so that he would be able to see the lie that had been told for years.

Hikaru's eyes darted to the skin for just a moment, before looking away once more. "There's nothing there, Kaoru." He sighed, dipping his head a little lower, "That's gotta be better than having her name on me for the rest of my life."

"Hikaru, you're not seeing it." Kaoru answered softly. He didn't have the strength to openly portray what he was feeling. "There's make-up there."

Hikaru blinked, before suddenly looking up at his twin. "Make up?" He asked, before firmly gripping onto Kaoru's arm with both hands. After carefully scanning the pale skin, he noticed that there was indeed make-up there, and underneath it a darker patch of skin that he could not make out.

"Kaoru, you... lied to me?" Even more hurt than before was written on his face.

Kaoru swallowed nervously. He thought he was going to be sick. "Wipe the make-up away," he said, "Then you'll know."

Hikaru bit back his tongue - bit back all thoughts and feelings against it and smudged away the make-up. After a few seconds, a name came into view. Hikaru dropped his sibling's arm in shocked disbelief the moment he made out the letters.

"K-Kaoru..." His eyes were wide, shocked and scared. His pale skin was even paler and his whole body went stiff.

Kaoru looked away - looked down at the mattress beneath him and cradled his wrist against his chest. For years he'd been lying, hiding the fact that he indeed had a name printed on his skin for life. A beautiful name, one scrawled against his skin in gorgeous cursive, with two identical roses decorating it. A name so familiar yet so distant; one that should have never been there in the first place.

"I've known this feeling longer than you have." Kaoru muttered in a dejected, empathetic tone.

The name on his skin was one that felt like it was burning him each and every day.

The name on his skin was Hikaru.

"How could you keep this from me?"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

Neither spoke in accusation nor fear. Instead, they spoke in sadness and acknowledged defeat.

"This isn't some kind of sick joke, is it?"

"No." Kaoru had no emotional energy to be angry at the suggestion.

"And that's always been there?"

"Why do you think I always kept my wrist covered when I was younger?"

.

.

.

"And you only stopped covering it because"

"I found out I could use mum's make-up instead."

.

.

.

"What does that mean, Kaoru?"

Kaoru finally looked up at his brother, the first time since revealing the name on his wrist. "What are you asking?"

"What do you feel about me?"

No hostility was present. It was a cold, blank question, with a hint of a demand in there out of desperation for an answer, but apart from that Hikaru wasn't sure what he should feel. He'd never considered this before, and had disregarded the idea that Kaoru was his soulmate when he was a lot younger. Back then, the idea was just an innocent want to stay close to the only best friend he'd need, but now such a thing would have an entirely different meaning.

Neither of them were asexual.

And, as far as Hikaru could tell, Kaoru likely wasn't entirely straight either. Not that he minded all that much.

But now, as he stared at his brother, who had anxiety and despair-filled eyes, he didn't know what to think. His own mind had gone blank, and from the increasing nervousness that overtook Kaoru's face, Hikaru was sure he'd already been given his answer before Kaoru even opened his lips to speak.

The only reason Kaoru found the courage to say the truth, was because he knew that Hikaru understood him better than anyone else, and for that his twin may just let the truth go for him.

"I..." his voice was shaky, and his breath was even shakier. He sounded like his throat was dry, "I feel about you, how you feel about Haruhi."

He said it.

After keeping the secret for so long, he finally said it.

Hikaru said nothing at first.

Kaoru felt like he was going to break in some way.

". . . Oh."

"That's all you can say?" Kaoru's voice was shaking even more. His lips were quivering under the strain of keeping it together.

"There's nothing else I **can** say." Hikaru's response was dull; void of life.

For the first time, Kaoru felt like he couldn't read his brother, but maybe it was just because he was too upset to try. It was hard enough trying to stop himself from falling apart.

It was funny how in a matter of seconds, his tone was able to change from empathetic tiredness to crippling anxiety. He just wanted Hikaru to say something - anything. He needed to know if this was okay - if they were okay and if he was okay. He didn't know, and not knowing something about Hikaru scared him more than anything else ever had. It scared him even more than the thought that they would always be an item rather than individual human beings in the eyes of others.

However, Hikaru's soulmate had already shown them that this wasn't so, and maybe that was why she was his soulmate - to show them that they could be together; that they could be the same but also very, very different. Maybe that was why they needed her, even if she wasn't meant to need Hikaru. He needed her. They needed her, but they also needed each other.

That was why their names were all messed up. Their situation was messed up and they, themselves were messed up.

"Don't you feel anything about that?" Kaoru kept his voice quiet in fear of breaking even more. He didn't know what he wanted the answer to be.

Hikaru felt too far detached from reality to give a proper answer to that question. He didn't know how he felt. What was he supposed to say when there was nothing to be said? For some reason, Kaoru's confession didn't surprise him as much as it should have. It didn't disturb him, nor did it make him feel any different.

Kaoru was Kaoru, and to him no name printed on his wrist could change that. Kaoru was a constant. Even when he thought he wanted his life to go in another direction, he never wanted to lose Kaoru.

Come to think of it, wasn't that the definition of a soulmate?

He didn't know. He just didn't know.

Instead, he did the only thing he knew to do. He held his twin in his arms, hoping to reassure him that everything would be okay.

He waited patiently for Kaoru to calm down - for his shaking to stop and his breathing to even out. He let Kaoru breathe in his scent and melt into him as much as he wanted.

He didn't mind it at all.

It was two weeks, seven hours, forty-six minutes and eleven seconds later when Hikaru woke up to reality again. All the time that passed between, he felt as if he was asleep - just trapped in a long, restless dream where senses were dulled and thoughts were distant. It wasn't an awful feeling, but it also wasn't a way for someone to spend their life.

He returned to reality while they were in the host club, when a girl asked them a question.

"Kaoru," One of the girls started shyly, catching his attention. Hikaru glanced over in a distant state of mind. "All the other hosts have showed that they have a timer, but you never have..." Her voice was quiet and unsure, as if she feared she was stepping on dangerous territory, but the curiosity was too great to turn back. "I heard that you weren't born with one. Is it true?" The other girls looked at him with anticipation, almost desperate to know his response. It was clear all of them had timers that were still counting down.

Kaoru looked between them a little nervously, his eyes skimming across their hopeful faces in refusal to fixate on any one of them for more than a second.

What was he supposed to say? Hikaru knew the truth, so would he call him out for lying? Heck, would he want him to say the truth at all? Somehow, it had never been brought up before, but saying anything in that moment felt risky. However, too much time had passed since the question had been verbalised, and he couldn't allow any more time to go by. It'd likely make things worse.

He made his decision.

He cast his eyes to the floor dramatically, placing a hand insecurely over his wrist - right where Hikaru's name was written, hidden underneath the school uniform. "It's true." He said quietly - as quietly as he could while still being heard, "I don't have a soulmate."

The girls gasped, either clutching their hands against their chests or covering their mouths in despair.

Hikaru had just watched this play out. He had listened to the girl ask her brother what was very well a personal question to many people and had heard his dramatized answer.

Something about hearing that lie felt... wrong.

Something felt horribly off about hearing his brother claim there was no name there, instead of the name that had always been there - from the very moment they were conceived.

Something about that was really fucked up - really anger inducing and really hurtful. To be lied about; to be belittled in front of everyone else.

And finally, that anger - that hurt and confusion and sadness - that was what woke Hikaru up from his extended dream.

He just sat there for a moment. Blinking. Revelling in the exaggerated gasps of their guests and the semi-faked saddened look his twin was giving.

He didn't like it.

He didn't like being lied about.

He didn't like the idea that his name meant nothing when it was permanently etched on the skin of the one person he could not live without.

He didn't like it at all.

He closed his eyes, drawing in a slow, deep breath.

"Actually," he started, catching the attention of the heartbroken girls. He caught the attention of Kaoru too, who gazed at him with a flicker of fear in his eyes. Hikaru stared back with determination and stubbornness. "Kaoru does have a soulmate."

Before anyone could ask who it was or even begin suggesting names, Hikaru gently lifted Kaoru's chin by his fingertips, forcing their eyes to meet. Their faces were only centimetres away from each other, a faint blush apparent across Hikaru's cheeks, while Kaoru's face was a more notable brighter red. With a fond smirk, and lips only a hair shy from touching, Hikaru murmured, "Show them the name, Kaoru."

In a swift motion - without breaking eye contact for even a moment - Hikaru grabbed his twin's forearm and pulled on the sleeve, revealing a wrist which, sure enough, had a name written on it. The girls looked it over with anticipation and ultimately broke down into a mess of squeals and screams of excitement when they saw the name there.

"H-Hikaru!" Kaoru stammered out, feigning embarrassment and looking away shyly. "Why did you show them that?" He asked in the typical insecure that voice he'd put on for the girls.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru." Hikaru responded, cupping his twin's cheek in his hand. They stared into each other's eyes once more as Hikaru whispered, "I just wanted them to know who your real soulmate is."

"It's okay, Hikaru. I understand." Kaoru replied softly.

The girls surrounding them didn't stop reacting even for a second.

Kaoru didn't understand why Hikaru had done that. He didn't understand why those girls needed to know the truth, or why his twin even cared. He didn't know why what happened even bothered him at all when he claimed to be at peace with the name that marked his skin.

Maybe that was just a lie he told himself so that one day he may believe it.

Maybe he just never did believe it.

He knew that was the likely answer, but he didn't want to admit it.

Admitting that would mean having to come to terms with a pain that had lasted close to a life time - a pain that existed from the moment he realised what it all meant. It hurt, in all honesty it hurt and it always had, but pushing it away made it seem like a distant memory. It made the grief of loneliness appear as nothing more than a dream from many years ago.

He couldn't keep pretending, not now that someone knew, and especially not now that it was at the forefront of his mind more and more. It was beginning to break him with a slow, sly tactic that gradually chipped away at the barriers he'd built. He'd ignored it for two weeks. He'd made it seem like he'd never said a thing about his soulmate. In fact, he'd ignored it so well that he'd began to think that the morning from two weeks prior had been a dream.

Even though his brain knew better.

Even though he wasn't that oblivious.

Even though he wasn't that clueless.

Even though he knew better.

They both did, but neither said a word.

It made Kaoru wonder if Hikaru had planned on saying anything at all, or if they were just pretending; just going back to the time before the whole mess of finding out soulmates had ever happened. Back to when they didn't care.

Perhaps it was for the best that they did, but now such a thing wasn't possible.

Those girls had brought it up and Hikaru still very clearly remembered. They couldn't just forget something like that.

Or at least, Kaoru couldn't.

And it hurt a lot more than it should have, to think about the prospect of forgetting - especially now when the wound had been reopened and would most certainly take a lifetime to heal.

Neither of them brought it up again until after they were home later that night.

Once again, it was after the lights were shut off and they were under the covers in the dark. Once again, they were facing away from each other, supposed to be asleep, but in reality both were wide awake. Once again, they were lost in their own minds - too emotionally invested in what had happened to go to sleep, even with their eyes closed.

And once again, Hikaru was the one to break the silence.

"I didn't like that you lied to them about my name, Kaoru." His voice seemed loud in the pitch black and otherwise silent room, but in reality what he said was nothing more than an emotionlessly mumbled sentence.

"What else could I have said?" It was a genuine question, just as soft-spoken in the darkness.

"Are you ashamed that my name is there?"

.

.

.

"No."

Kaoru rolled over, and Hikaru did the same. "No," Kaoru repeated, grabbing one of his twin's hands in his own, "I'm not."

"Why didn't you tell them, then?"

Despite the fact that he couldn't see a thing, Kaoru could tell that golden eyes were staring at him in anxious anticipation.

"Hikaru, I..." His voice was softer, "I didn't think you'd want me to." The pain in his heart felt worse as they started talking, but he couldn't stop just because of that. His twin had a right to know, and if anything they couldn't keep avoiding the topic. It was unhealthy, and unfortunately the healthy thing to do was talk through the pain - even if it made his chest feel like it was constricting. "I thought you felt sorry for me, having my brother's name on my wrist. It's not something to be proud of." It was starting to feel like he couldn't breathe - like no air could enter his lungs. It brought the tiniest of tears to his eyes. "I'm not ashamed, Hikaru, I thought you were. I wouldn't have been mad if you hated that your name was there. I still wouldn't be mad now." He felt tears falling down his face, but no sobs or desperate heaves for breath followed. These tears were nothing more than a silent escape for a pain that never wanted a voice.

Even in the pitch black of the room, Hikaru could still tell that Kaoru was crying. He pressed their foreheads together, causing the ends of their hair to tangle and their gentle, warm breaths to mix. "Kaoru, I'm not mad." He said quietly.

His voice so close and filled with love caused a shiver to run through Kaoru.

"I was upset that you didn't tell me." He explained quietly, "We promised not to keep secrets from each other. I know why you did, but it still hurt." He sighed, shifting his free hand to gently cup his twin's face. They were almost connected at the bridge of their noses. "I don't want you to lie to me, Kaoru. And I don't want you to lie about me."

Kaoru made a soft humming noise, beginning to feel tired from the combination of his own emotions and Hikaru's comfort. "I won't do it again." He almost whispered, eyes closed and starting to fall asleep. "I promise."

Hikaru believed the promise, and as he too fell asleep, he silently wondered if maybe, just maybe, the timer on his wrist had been wrong. He wondered if the pretty name permanently etched on his skin in beautiful writing with exquisite detail was the wrong name, because as he felt Kaoru's feint breath brush over his lips, and the smooth skin pressed against his hands, he was sure that the person next to him was his other half.

He was sure that he'd known his soulmate all along, and a stupid name on his wrist didn't define that. He did, and he always would.


	2. The Sequel No One Asked For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The look in Hikaru's eyes was unmistakable to Kaoru, and the younger twin understood exactly what was being said without it being explicitly phrased. His initial thoughts and suspicions had been confirmed despite how crazy, unrealistic, wrong and impossible he had believed them to be.
> 
> He loved Hikaru, plain and simple, but that fact was never supposed to flow both ways. It was never supposed to be so easy.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this story was meant to be a standalone oneshot with an ending open to interpretation, however after receiving one comment in particular on the previous part, I found the inspiration to write a second chapter to this story and figured it wouldn't hurt to post it.
> 
> If you are an avid shipper of Hikaru/Kaoru and enjoy some more intimate moments between the two of them, there's a good chance you might like this update. However, if you'd rather not read an almost sex scene between a pair of twins, then I'd strongly suggest clicking/tapping away.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully you all enjoy this part, and hopefully the spelling and grammar is alright. I did re-edit once and proof-read twice - fixing any errors I found along the way - but I am only human after all and could have easily made mistakes. Plus, despite the fact that I did have fun writing this, I will admit that the formatting of this chapter is a little bit weird.
> 
> Also I'm just going to say now, I apologise for this chapter (I do like it but at the same time it's different to what I'd normally write), and sorry if anyone seems OOC at all. I did try though. :)

Kaoru knew it through the strange looks they'd receive from strangers, or the judgemental remarks that weren't-so-well hidden by other students. He knew it through the stares that pierced into the back of his skull - their presence painfully acknowledged without so much as a glance from golden eyes, and through the subtle changes to body language whenever others were too near. It wasn't normal; they were too close and _he knew this_.

The world just didn't work like that, and whether he liked it or not, soulmates would always be a big deal.

It just didn't make sense to be close to someone who didn't have your name permanently etched into their skin. It didn't make sense to love another more than the one who was predetermined for you. It was completely and utterly illogical to pick someone other than who the timer had picked for you. It was wrong - taboo, even. In fact, it was much more taboo than his twin's name forever blemishing his wrist. It was much, much worse, because there'd be less judgement if their names at least matched up. That way it could be blamed on forces beyond their control, but this...

 ** _This_** was much more complicated than any of that, and **_he knew this_**. He had always known, and from much too young an age. He'd been aware of the heartache he'd have to carry and the feelings he'd have to keep hidden. He knew of all the frustration and agony he'd need to hide to spare the world the truth - his world; _his_ Hikaru, or at least, that's what he'd call him in the safety of his grief-riddled mind. He'd already accepted that it was a losing battle and that there was no point fighting for something he could never have. He'd even tried to persuade Hikaru in the past to worry more about his timer, because _there was a reason that timer was there_ and _he'd fall in love with whoever's name was there regardless_. The counter had a funny way of working like that. It always knew who the person would fall in love with, but it also knew if such a love was doomed, but **never** had a timer accounted for the fact that its conclusions would be wrong.

 ** _Never_** had the possibility arisen that mixed-up names and a destiny for tragedy would be turned into an eventual conclusion for two people who never really cared about a stupid timer in the first place -- well, one who pretended they didn't care and another who hadn't cared until they lost the one they loved to a fucked-up system, and now, neither of them cared about it.

Or at least, Hikaru sure as hell didn't.

For him, it had been both surprising and somewhat expected for Kaoru to have his name on his wrist, because if Kaoru was to have anyone's name, it would be his. However, Hikaru never once believed that his twin would ever lie to him about anything - especially something so significant to their lives. Of course, he understood why Kaoru did it, but that didn't take away the pain of an unintentional betrayal and nor did it squelch the uneasiness of learning that his brother's feelings for him were more than platonic. It only served to reinforce the fact that they had fell victim to a very, very messed-up system.

For a little while, that had bothered him. It had bothered him a lot, actually.

It was disturbing to think how long he'd been lied to without realising it, by his _twin_ nonetheless - the one person who he knew better than anyone else, perhaps even himself. It was disturbing that he'd accidentally broken the heart of the very person who held his name on his skin, neatly and beautifully written with all the care of a pure-hearted declaration of love. It was upsetting that he'd managed to cause such a deep pain to someone he cared so much about without even being aware, and it scared him that his understanding of his reality was shattered so easily with one simple truth.

It had been a lot to take in, and even after waking up from his shock-induced daze, he still wasn't sure if he was quite back to reality.

He wasn't sure if the seconds he spent gazing at Kaoru's sleeping face right before he too succumbed to slumber were real, and he wasn't sure if he was simply imagining the way his heart warmed with a sense of contentment and fondness. He wasn't sure if the jolt of excitement he felt when they briefly brushed together by accident or mistakingly locked eyes was just him reacting to what Kaoru had told him, or if it was happening by his own accord. He didn't know if he had always noticed the smallest details about his twin - such as the particular strands of hair that stood out of place, or a stray minuscule freckle that was washed away in pale, soft skin. He didn't know what any of it meant or if any of those things had ever happened in the past. He didn't remember what things used to be like or if he'd ever felt differently, but he did still know that none of it was normal.

The world just didn't work that way.

And frankly, he was starting to get sick of seeing Kaoru become so uncomfortable after someone would glance at the two of them. Hikaru knew there had to be more to it than that, even if he didn't know exactly what it was that his twin was noticing. He just wanted to be certain about _something_ in his life again.

Although, he was beginning to be certain that he didn't want the way he felt about Kaoru to change, and he was becoming certain that it never would change. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more certain he became that his feelings had to be a new development or an awakening of some kind, because they were the same feelings he'd held for Haruhi--

And that was the final puzzle piece that he had been searching for.

However, the fact still remained that the world just didn't work that way, but since when did he and Kaoru ever care what the world thought of them anyway?

Hikaru had only ever really cared about Kaoru, and he was sure those feelings went both ways.

It took him a month and a half after waking up to reality to piece all these things together. It wasn't the full picture, but it was a start, and he hoped it'd be enough to make a decision on what that final image was without damaging the pieces that had already been connected.

The ball was now rolling and something was finally going to be done; he just didn't know what that was or when it would happen.

That very question had been answered one night as they were falling asleep. There was always something about those sleepy moments before the waking world was lost that could bring the truth much easier than any other moment. This was something Hikaru had learned a while ago.

He was always most vulnerable when he was falling asleep or had just woken up. Kaoru could be the same.

It had been quiet and peaceful, the only audible noise being the faint sound of relaxed, constant breathing. Hikaru was laying on his back while Kaoru curled up beside him; both comfortable and close to drifting away from the waking world, but there was something weighing notably on Hikaru's mind. It was an unstated feeling and thought - weighted and burning the edge of his tongue with words left unspoken.

He hadn't planned on saying it, but it had somehow rolled off of his tongue and into the atmosphere before he could stop it.

"I haven't forgotten."

His voice cut through the silence of the room like a scalding knife - bringing sensation and life along with it. Part of him wasn't too sure if he'd said anything at all or if he'd just imagined it.

There was a slight stir beside him that answered his question, and despite the fact that Hikaru was staring at the dark ceiling, he knew that a pair of amber eyes were fixated on him.

"What haven't you forgotten?"

"Your wrist."

It suddenly went silent once more, although this time the air was thick with anticipation for what was to come and for who would first break the silence. Hikaru found himself carefully observing the outline of a chandelier further across the room - his eyes training to make out each detail in the close to pitch-black room. Kaoru was no longer looking at him - he knew - and instead his twin was gripping onto his wrist; the one with Hikaru's name on it. Kaoru's eyes were forcefully fixed on the sheets underneath them in an attempt to avoid bringing anymore attention to himself, and his mouth was stubbornly sealed shut.

Hikaru supposed he would have to be the one to break the impromptu silence that had washed over them, but if he was honest he had no clue how he was going to do that. His mind was too exhausted to think anything through properly and he unfortunately couldn't look to his twin for help with this one. He sighed through his nose, almost inaudible in the big, empty space, as he realised that he needed to do what he did best; improvise.

"This will never just 'go away'."

Hikaru had no clue why he settled on saying **_that_** , but it was at least something. Although, he feared that his statement would only prove to make things worse.

"You think I don't know that?"

Kaoru's response was too dull and lifeless to indicate whether or not Hikaru's worries were well-placed, but his twin's wording on its own seemed to be enough to support his concerns.

Kaoru continued. "I've had your name on my wrist for my whole life, Hikaru. If I could have gotten it removed by now I-"

"Why?" Hikaru felt his entire body tense with a strange sense of anger. His voice was stiff, quiet and pressured, "Does having my name bother you that much?"

"I thought it'd bother you."

The tension left. It was replaced with saddened guilt.

"Kaoru, that could never bother me." He turned to look at his twin - golden eyes mirroring each other - and gently ran his hand through Kaoru's hair. "Besides," he smirked, "We always planned on being together anyway. Even your timer knew that."

"Yeah," Kaoru's gaze flicked downward, a sad sort of smile on his lips, "But yours didn't."

Hikaru felt that he should have seen that coming.

"I know." He sighed, moving his forehead to rest against its identical copy, "This whole situation is messed up, isn't it?"

"Yeah," this time a strangled laugh followed - a quick gust of air mixed with bittersweet amusement and the pain of a secret hidden for years, "it is."

For a few seconds Hikaru hesitated, before deciding to add in what the entire conversation had been leading to - at least, what it had been leading to on his end.

"But," he had to suppress the urge to nervously swallow, instead drawing in a quiet and slightly shaky breath, "We can at least make the most of it."

Kaoru finally glanced back up at him - eyes filled with curiosity and also a little fear from his suspicions. "What does that mean?" It was barely above a whisper, but it still felt entirely too loud in the large room.

Hikaru rested his palm flat against Kaoru's cheek; his fingers still threaded into reddish-brown hair. "It means," his voice was also a whisper - gentle and uncertain of what his attempt was about to amount to. He was unsure of if he was doing the right thing, even though Kaoru had already admitted that he saw Hikaru romantically. It felt like he was crossing a line - one that neither of them should ever try to cross, but the worst part of it was that despite his slight nerves, he couldn't find it in himself to feel guilty about it.

In fact, it felt more normal than anything else he had felt in a while. It felt like going back to before they met Haruhi, with the added benefit of having that independence and ability to separate if they ever needed--

\--Not that Hikaru was prepared to leave Kaoru behind, obviously.

"Maybe my timer was wrong."

There was no confusion to be had about that statement. The look in Hikaru's eyes was unmistakable to Kaoru, and the younger twin understood exactly what was being said without it being explicitly phrased. His initial thoughts and suspicions had been confirmed despite how crazy, unrealistic, wrong and impossible he had believed them to be.

He loved Hikaru, plain and simple, but that fact was never supposed to flow both ways. It was never supposed to be so easy.

It was supposed to be a painful truth he'd take to his grave, and an agonising reminder of how cruel the world is and how messed up he is. The secret was never meant to be let out. Hikaru was never meant to know any of it and he was never supposed to _return_ those feelings; it just wasn't right. In fact, it was wrong. It was so very wrong on so many levels, and his brain could only scream _think of what this means for the rest of your life - the rest of **his** life. Think about what it means for your parents and their companies; just **think** about how all of this is going to screw over the people around you_.

He knew it would.

He always, _always_ knew that something so taboo and supposedly morally incorrect would ruin his family's name. He knew it would destroy his brother's social life and turn their lives into chaos. It would strip them of so many opportunities if people knew - and with one glance _they would know_. So many already guessed as such with simple looks in their direction. He saw it in their eyes, their expressions and their reactions - disgust and judgement at something that technically didn't even exist. He knew it was there, even if no one else saw it. It had to be, because why else would it be such a big deal to him?

He loved Hikaru, and if all else was out of the picture - the morals, the judgement, the timers and all other factors against it - that one plain and simple fact wouldn't matter; it would just _be_ ; it would just **_exist_**.

At least, that's what he wanted to believe. He wanted to hold onto the idea that everything he went through to keep things silent had been worth it. He wanted to believe that the part of him that had tried so hard to make sure things never changed and that Hikaru was happy wasn't tarnished by some realisation that it had all been in vain - that it didn't matter in the end and that the devastation he'd forced himself to face with a smile had been for nothing.

Of course, the part of him that loved Hikaru and wanted to selfishly revel in his attention didn't care as much for the morality of things or holding onto past pain like some kind of medal of honour. The part of him that loved Hikaru was telling him that the past was the past, and _yes it hurt_ but _it doesn't have to continue hurting_. It wouldn't be forgotten. What he went through would never disappear but it didn't have to shape every aspect of his future. He could live with that recognition and still find happiness, or at least he hoped he could.

The whole situation was a mess, but he was glad he had Hikaru by his side - willing to give their relationship a try, as weird and wrong as it may be.

Kaoru reached a decision. For a second he closed his eyes, swallowing nervously before letting out a slow, calming breath. He already knew what would happen after he'd say his next words, but the idea that they weren't yet materialised was daunting.

Everything that he and Hikaru shared was about to change into everything Kaoru had dreamed of it being, but that thought still terrified him. He wasn't afraid to admit that to himself.

"Maybe," he started nervously - his voice soft and his breath mingling with his twin's because of how close they were. He noticed that Hikaru's eyes had began shining with anxiousness during the tense silence that had filled the room. "Maybe," Kaoru continued, "I think your timer was wrong too."

A pause. All that could be heard were slow, gentle breaths.

.  
.  
.

"Do you think I should fix it?"

"Yes."

There was no hesitation in Kaoru's answer, just the edges of desperate anticipation caused by years of wishing he could cross that line they were never meant to cross. It was almost suffocating how close he was to stepping over it now; how close they both were.

Hikaru hesitated to shift closer to his twin; movements lagging and painfully slow. His molten eyes stared uncertainly and a little fearfully into identical ones - freely pouring out all insecurities alongside excitement, desire, and love. Their noses brushed past each other, a little cold from the exposure to the night air but still causing a blissful heat to pulse in Hikaru's stomach. From the way Kaoru stared back at him with the same intensity and longing, he was sure that his twin had felt it too.

For a moment their lips lingered a few centimetres apart, before Hikaru finally found the confidence to think ' _screw it_ ' and close the gap between them.

For both of them it was their first kiss, and Hikaru became certain in that moment that he wouldn't have had it any other way.

The contact was soft and gentle; an innocent press of lips to cautiously tread new waters. It sent a shiver down Kaoru's spine and a spark of heated pleasure to pulse between them. Hikaru felt his limbs tingle from the kiss and his mouth burn from the excitement and sensation it caused, and Kaoru's hair felt warm beneath Hikaru's palm - radiating with the heat from his skin.

When he pulled away, Hikaru also became certain that he was not pulling away forever.

His topaz gaze caught its mirror reflection in a silent question.

_Was that okay?_

The response-

_Very, **very** okay._

_Again?_

Kaoru reconnected the kiss as an answer, showing much more force and desperation than his twin had displayed just moments ago. The kisses continued as soft presses of lips; slow, drawn-out and pure, and Kaoru drank in every sensation he could. He willed his tired mind to memorise the feeling of smooth, moist lips against his own, pushing lightly before slowly disconnecting; drawing out the feeling of separation before returning to experience it all over again.

Kaoru slid his arms gently around Hikaru's bare waist and pulled their bodies flush against each other - feeling as their hips pushed together, and their lower torsos, only beginning to split apart at their upper abdomens to accomodate tender, sweet kisses. He felt hot skin press against his own - causing another shiver to go down his spine and a shudder of heated pleasure to course through him. Hikaru shifted his hand to the back of his twin's head, gently gripping his hair and feeling it weave between his fingers while his other hand moved to grab Kaoru's hip, which was already jutting intoxicatingly into his own.

The connection deepened from there.

Hikaru was the first one to open his mouth, tongue gliding against Kaoru's lips before passing through to deepen the kiss. He heard Kaoru moan softly into his mouth, making Hikaru tighten his grip and quicken his movements. He pressed further into his twin; feeling hips push even more firmly into his and the arms snaked around his waist strengthen their hold. Their kisses became wet, open-mouthed, rough, quick and passionate. He felt Kaoru melting against him, nonverbally giving into his lead and allowing Hikaru to explore his mouth. Kaoru wrapped his legs around him, squeezing them against his waist and pulling their pelvises together. The movement was so hurried and strong that before Hikaru knew it he was rolling on top of his twin, their kiss was broken and their chests collided.

His face rested against the flesh of Kaoru's neck, and thighs still firmly squeezed his sides, causing an overwhelmingly pleasurable friction.

Things were escalating much, much quicker than he ever could have imagined.

His breathing was fast and heavy against his twin's neck; the impossible closeness of their bodies and the intensity of their kiss sucking the oxygen out of his lungs. He could feel Kaoru's chest heave for air under his own and could hear Kaoru's gasps for oxygen next to him, and Hikaru was barely surprised to find that he was loving every moment of it.

He was loving every reaction Kaoru gave him - the way his body would briefly tense from excitement and pleasure, and the way his hands would try to nudge their bodies closer together despite them already being flush against each other. He loved every wanton noise that escaped Kaoru's lips, from the breathless, thrilled gasps that had melted into their kiss only seconds ago, to the sound of their lips pressing together and their tongues exploring each other's mouths. It much more intense than he ever could have pictured, and although he wasn't surprised by how much he loved Kaoru's reactions, he was surprised by how much he desired and craved the body that was pressing hotly into him. He was surprised by how warm his own body was feeling, and how turned-on he was getting in such a short amount of time.

His mind was becoming more and more fuzzy, and all he knew was that he didn't want what they were exploring to ever stop. He didn't want things to ever go back to the way they were before - especially when the feeling of his twin's hands and thighs around him was so enticing. In fact, it made him feel a little guilty that Kaoru had been wanting this for so much longer.

He decided to make sure that the wait would be well worth it for his brother.

He softly pressed his lips against Kaoru's neck, feeling the body underneath him stiffen slightly. The legs wrapped tightly around his hips jutted the two of them further into each other, causing them both to gasp from pleasure, before relaxing as Hikaru started planting more gentle kisses.

Kaoru sighed quietly and contently, enjoying the sensation of tender lips pressing deliberately into his skin where the side of his jaw and neck met. The movements were calm and loving against his flesh, but they also managed to feel hot and exciting at the same time - making his body burn with anticipation and desire. Hikaru unhurriedly made his way down to juncture of his twin's neck and shoulder, staying there to place drawn-out, heated kisses, and from the way that his twin trembled, swallowed thickly and thrusted their hips together roughly and impulsively, Hikaru could tell he'd found a sensitive spot.

Kaoru's body burned against his own, continuing to tremble and stiffen as Hikaru's tongue trailed over his skin. Kaoru's breathing was shaky and his cheeks were tinted pink, and he could already feel himself getting hard. When Hikaru bit down into his skin; teeth gently and slowly grazing along the juncture of his neck and shoulder, Kaoru was certain he was seeing stars. He threw his head back against his pillow and his legs tensed even more against his twin's hips, and he could feel Hikaru grinding down into him - Hikaru's hardness pressing into his own

More eager kisses were smothered into Kaoru's skin - right where there'd surely be a hickey - before Hikaru slowly started moving his attention further up Kaoru's neck. Each touch of lips to skin was still soft and deliberate; his tongue occasionally rolling over the smooth surface to take in its taste - familiar, yet something entirely different to anything he'd ever experienced. It sent more heat between his legs, right where Kaoru's groin was pushing into his.

When Hikaru found the distinct dip of his twin's neck and jaw once more, he started peppering quick and light kisses to the skin; feather-soft and so faint that Kaoru began laughing quietly at the tickle of it. He tilted his head gently to the side to give his brother more access. Hikaru smiled faintly and moved to briskly nibble Kaoru's ear, eliciting another delicious gasp and moan, which Hikaru eagerly soaked in as he shifted to kiss to the corner of his twin's mouth. A husky breath escaped Kaoru's lips, shaking from the intensity of their connection.

A part of Kaoru was convinced that everything he was experiencing was some sort of dream, because there seemed to be no way that Hikaru truly felt that way about him and was _kissing_ him with so much desire and passion. It felt impossible that the same lips he'd often caught himself staring at were pressing hotly against the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, and then the bridge of his nose - permanently burning the memory of their touch into each place they tasted. It felt impossible that Hikaru's hand was threaded so confidently through his hair, keeping a firm but somehow gentle grip on his locks as their lips crashed together once more - that single collision turning into an open-mouthed, heat-filled connection. It felt impossible that his twin was melting into his form - hips against hips, and an equally wanting hardness kneading into his own. It all felt incredibly intense, as if at any moment his body would overheat and melt away under the immense pleasure he was feeling. It felt unreal - he was sure it all had to be in his head, but--

But the way Hikaru ground their hips together caused more heated enjoyment than he could have ever dreamed of, and more than his brain could have ever created on its own. By some miracle it was all real, and Hikaru wanted this just as much as he did.

Kaoru couldn't control the way that his hips thrusted upwards and his legs tightened even more against his twin's waist. In response, Hikaru caught Kaoru's bottom lip between his teeth and softly nibbled on it; causing his twin to shudder with excitement. He held Kaoru's lip for a few seconds longer before releasing it in a slow, light drag.

"Hikaru."

Hikaru's name was breathed out faintly; barely even a whisper. Kaoru's eyes slowly peered out behind closed eyelids; too lost in ecstasy to open before that moment. Golden eyes met golden through the dark of the room and their foreheads rested against each other softly, allowing their slightly laboured breaths to mingle together.

Kaoru continued rubbing up against Hikaru despite their kiss being broken, causing Hikaru's breath to shudder and a husky moan to escape him - one that only made Kaoru try to press further into him. Hikaru dropped his head into the crook of his twin's neck once more, his lips barely touching his ear. One hand still rested behind Kaoru's head while the other reached up to brush over Kaoru's nipple - feeling as it hardened under his gentle and persistent ministrations.

"Kaoru." He whispered breathlessly.

"Mmm?" It was barely even a question - broken off with a soft groan.

"My timer-" Hikaru moaned against his ear, beginning to be able to feel how wet he and Kaoru were through their boxers. He swallowed and continued, "My timer... was definitely wrong.

Kaoru didn't even react to the statement like he normally would, and instead inclined his face towards his twin.

"You think?" He breathed out - the words almost completely silent.

Hikaru nodded. "Yeah." He paused for a moment, touching their foreheads together as best as he could from their angle, "Yeah, I do."

Kaoru barely made a noise in response - too lost in the pleasure of the moment.

When their minds would no longer be fogged over with euphoria and they were fully awake, the conversation would definitely play out a lot different. However, they decided to let that wait until morning, where they would wake up in each other's arms, reeking of a blend of their scents and be a tangle of limbs and bed-hair - not that any of that would be a bad thing. Although, with the implications their relationship would bring, any chance of enjoying the morning after would be shattered by the reality of a daunting situation.

Of course, even Kaoru was certain they'd work through it and figure things out. After all, they had each other and he knew that there was more to be said than simply Kaoru loved Hikaru, because Hikaru loved Kaoru too, and no one would be able to take their future away from them - not if they could help it.

"I do too."

However, that was not how the world worked, and maybe that was the scariest part.

They'd just have to see the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if anything was written in an awkward way. I'm not usually the type to go into deep detail about sexual encounters in writing, but somehow the story took this direction and I just tried to go with it. Hopefully the writing was alright and not too cringey at the intimate moments.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope it was enjoyable!
> 
> -The Trashiest Bisexual

**Author's Note:**

> I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT THIS STORY HAS THE BIGGEST ERROR IN ONE OF ITS LINES OH MY GOODNESS WHY. 
> 
> Literally just added that comment to let anyone who read this/is reading this know that I FOUND THE ERROR FUCK ME SIDEWAYS and it's been fixed !!
> 
> It was just such a BIG fuck up on my part and I couldn't handle. XD
> 
> Also, the amount of sixes in this work makes me so emo. Just kidding, but I really do hate that number *shudders*.
> 
> ... I get the feeling I'll see this edit tomorrow and cringe so hard at what I wrote (when exhausted or tired me notices what half-asleep me posted... I'm always tired).
> 
> Anywho, IT HAS BEEN FIXED. Happy reading!!
> 
> -The Trashiest Bisexual


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